FACT: Deaths attributed to “loud sounds” since 1970: 34,831.
- FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo

FACT: Three people die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their tongue.

FACT: One of the largest carriers of hepatitis B is dinner mints.

FACT: Non-dairy creamer is flammable.

FACT: Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

FACT: A group of unicorns is called a blessing.

FACT: 99% of all "mazes" can be solved if you walk to the right every time you have to choose between left and right.

FACT: Poets have a life span fifteen years below average.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo

FACT: Since 2001, 987 children have been killed while buying ice cream.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo

FACT: More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.

FACT: In 2003, 24 people died from inhaling popcorn fumes.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo

FACT: Halogen floor lamps caused approximately 270 fires and 19 deaths per year.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo

FACT: Total asphyxiations attributed to rice cake eating since 1965: 1,601.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo

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Recent Events

Hello, People Looking at the Events Page. True Stories is coming up again – July 30. For the uninitiated, True Stories is a quarterly event I do with some friends at Mississippi Studios. We tell humiliating true stories. You drink. It’s big fun. Also, I’ll be the keynote speaker at The Willamette Writers conference in August. Banquet food? A hotel near the airport? Moi? What more could you want? Plastic eyeballs, that’s what. And I’ll have some to give-away. Now what’s your excuse for not coming?