FACT: Non-dairy creamer is flammable.
FACT: Three people die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their tongue.
FACT: Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
FACT: One of the largest carriers of hepatitis B is dinner mints.
FACT: Halogen floor lamps caused approximately 270 fires and 19 deaths per year.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
FACT: Deaths attributed to “loud sounds” since 1970: 34,831.
- FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: In 2003, 24 people died from inhaling popcorn fumes.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: Poets have a life span fifteen years below average.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.
FACT: Since 2001, 987 children have been killed while buying ice cream.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: Total asphyxiations attributed to rice cake eating since 1965: 1,601.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: 99% of all "mazes" can be solved if you walk to the right every time you have to choose between left and right.
Want to go on vacation with me?
WE HAVE A FEW MORE SEATS AT: The Ed and Alta Smith Good Karma Writing Retreat in Maui
DATES:
Feb 6-11
WHERE:
Wailea, Maui (it’s on the sunny side of the island)
There are a lot of fancy hotels (like, literally, the hotel from White Lotus Season 1) and also cheap condos (hell, yeah, airbnb!) in the area.
You can also find plenty of other accommodations nearby FOR A LOT LESS. I see a lot of 2-bedroom condos listed for $350 a night. So get on THAT. Seriously. I’m happy to matchmake roommates. Many of you have been in zoom classes together.
RETREAT FEE: $2,000.
SO TO RECAP:
You will have to pay 2K for the retreat. (As always I am totally up for payment plans. Or “this is all I can pay” plans.)
And then you also have to get your airfare and hotel/airbnb. (I have a couple of scholarship rooms, for a couple of nights, and maybe more coming in - I’m on a waitlist for openings.) (A friend has donated resort points.)
You will NOT have to rent a car. I will have people doing airport pick-ups and drop-offs as well as pick-ups/drop-offs in Wailea (if you choose to stay somewhere other than the Andaz). That said, if you see yourself in a white convertible Mustang, go for it. I SEE you.
WHAT WILL THIS BE LIKE?
It can be what you want/need it to be! I’m going to be offering a late-morning daily meeting for writing talk and prompts, and a daily evening workshop. But also excursions and special guest talks. But hey, if you get there and start writing and decide you want to spend the five days on your balcony with your laptop, that is fine. You can be ALL IN. Or partially IN. Or “tell me when it’s happy hour” IN. I will also be available all-day to take a look at your pages, to cheer you on, to talk writing in a hot tub.
CAN I BRING A PLUS ONE?
Absolutely. Obviously your plus one will not be charged the retreat fee. But can still attend the “social” events. Erik is threatening to take you all on hikes.
DO I HAVE TO COME WITH PAGES?
Nope. But you can if you want to.
DO I HAVE TO TURN IN WORK DURING THE WEEK?
Nope. But you can if you want to.
MORE.
Airfare from Portland to Maui (eg) is $350. Lodging ranges from $175 to as much as you want to pay.
WHO'S GOING TO BE THERE?
My T.A., Erik Grove. Erik’s wife. Yours truly. Plus the husband and the daughter. Plus a couple of special guests. I don’t want to announce them until they’re 100% solid. But they’re people I know. And you will like them.
Basically I’m inviting you all to go on vacation with me.
HOW DO I SIGN UP?
Find me on my socials and message me. I’ll let you know my Venmo/PayPal/Zelle handles. Pay the fee to save a seat. Or, you know, some of the fee.
WILL THERE BE LEIS?
There will be leis.
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