FACT: Total asphyxiations attributed to rice cake eating since 1965: 1,601.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.
FACT: Poets have a life span fifteen years below average.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
FACT: Halogen floor lamps caused approximately 270 fires and 19 deaths per year.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: Three people die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their tongue.
FACT: Non-dairy creamer is flammable.
FACT: A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
FACT: In 2003, 24 people died from inhaling popcorn fumes.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: 99% of all "mazes" can be solved if you walk to the right every time you have to choose between left and right.
FACT: Deaths attributed to “loud sounds” since 1970: 34,831.
- FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
FACT: One of the largest carriers of hepatitis B is dinner mints.
FACT: Since 2001, 987 children have been killed while buying ice cream.
– FINAL EXITS by Michael Largo
Haunted Theater Fiction Lab
In-person, weekly, 10-week fiction writing workshop with
CHUCK PALAHNIUK and CHELSEA CAIN
Where:
IN-PERSON. The Day Theater, 5516 SE Foster Road, Portland, Oregon. (See below for COVID restrictions.)
When:
Weekly, on Mondays, from 6:30pm - 9:30pm. June 7 - August 9, 2021.
What:
The first writers workshop to be held in one of Portland’s oldest and most-troubled theaters. Closed since 1965, the sealed, silent Day Theater could well be the setting for a Palahniuk story…
Chuck Palahniuk and Chelsea Cain are both bestselling writers, longtime friends, and workshop colleagues.
They are also lonely.
Please help them by considering joining this special 10-week writing workshop.
Limited to 20 students.
If you know either Chuck or Chelsea, you’ll know why we’re not going to bother describing it. But it will go something like this: You will be able to share work and get feedback, you will learn many many very useful writing tips, you will be nervous, you will laugh, and you will probably get some kind of stuffed animal.
You will definitely walk away entertained and armed with some truly practical tools for improving your craft.
How to register:
This is first-come, first-serve. Isn’t that exciting? Registration opens at high noon PACIFIC TIME on May 24th.
You might want to set a calendar reminder.
THIS IS WHAT YOU DO:
Send an email to [email protected]. Don’t sweat over it. You’re just dropping your name in a bucket. Chuck and Chelsea probably won’t even see it.
Do not send an email before high noon on May 24th.
We will respond to the first 20 emails with instructions on where to PayPal/Venmo/Zelle the class fee.
The class fee is $1000.
This seems like a lot, but seriously, it’s not. Chuck is just being super stubborn and wants to keep it accessible.
Paying the fee secures your spot.
If you need to pay half up front and half later, this can be discussed, if you are one of the first 20 registrants.
[If someone is among the first 20 but bails out, we will proceed to the 21st e-mailer, and so on.]
Prerequisites:
Do you write? Excellent! You are a writer! And therefore eligible for this class.
Can you get to Portland, Oregon, once a week? Excellent! That is also a requirement.
You should probably be over 18, or very very precocious.
This is a fiction writing class. So if you write non-fiction this is not the class for you.
Who:
Chuck Palahniuk is the author of Fight Club, as well as over two dozen other books, comic books, short stories, and various journalistic endeavors. Two of his books (Fight Club and Choke) have been adapted into movies. He is pretty famous.
Chelsea Cain is the author of six Archie Sheridan/Gretchen Lowell thrillers, the book One Kick (adapted into the 12-episode TV show, Gone), a half-dozen other books (ranging from illustrated humor to non-fiction), as well as some comic books and the sort of journalism that doesn’t require talking on the phone. She is funnier than you might think.
COVID:
We will follow the guidelines issued by Multnomah County (Portland), which tend to be pretty cautious. Chuck and Chelsea are both fully vaccinated. Participants in the workshop will also most likely all be vaccinated. But this is not a requirement. At this point we would encourage students to wear masks, unless they are presenting work. Also hand washing, staying home if sick, et cetera.
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